“There’s a lot of fish in the ocean”
The most popular quotation I always hear once one is broken or one had been left by their parner.
Every failed relationship is painful. It hurts us in a way no physical wounds can…
I, too had experienced being heartbroken.
I wasn’t ready for my first heartbreak. It happened when I was only 15. Even two years later, I still vividly remember how bad it hurt. Because it really, really hurt me. It hurt so much I went to sleep all day and when I woke up, I did everything I could to sleep again, because I just can’t bear being awake thinking about it. Physically speaking, it felt as though there was this hole in my chest and this invisible hand was wringing my heart and ripping my lungs to shreds. It was awful.
But, to the then-teenage me, the heartbreak might have been the most important thing that ever happened in my life. It showed me that the ugly faces of love are what we must all face. I was so mad at myself for being such a fool and I almost hated the world for being so unfair. I wanted to slap just anybody I can across with, and wanted to be alone for a while (thank goodness I have no suicidal attempts). I was emotionally tortured that time. I was crying while at school, or shall I say would cut class just to spent my time crying. And every time I hear the sound of some familiar love songs I can’t help but cry my heart out. I wanted to move on. I wanted to forget him as soon as I can (if only it can happen the next morning when I wake up) but I couldn’t. Everywhere I looked, I saw him…there’s just too many memories and I thought i would go crazy trying to avoid them. That’s when I’ve realized that it’s not enough to just want to move on…I have to do something about it and fortunately I was successful! Let me share with you the things I did and I’m pretty sure it will help you too.
But again, time heals everything. With time, the heartbreak instead gave me insight, creativity, and a huge motivation I needed at that time, without which I won’t be here, so far outside my comfort zone and what I thought was the limit of my capabilities. The depression and all that self-harm subsided, but I also grew to be a stronger, more mature, deeper person I’d never be without first getting involved into such an intense period of self-contemplation. Distance also helped. Several months after that heartbreak he moved to another city altogether, intent on creating a new life so that’s what I also did. I’d like to think of that first heartbreak as my personal forest fire. It was destructive, full of anguish, and really, really painful. But it enabled me to grow and become stronger.
These are the proofs that I did good things to forget all the pains I have felt.
Here are the following things I did just to get over and move on:
These following advices are for the ladies out their, since I’m no expert about guys.
1.Accept What Happened and Don’t Dwell on it
You can choose to avoid thinking about him or her and causing yourself suffering. It’s not easy, but you can do it. I’m sure you know.
A good way to think is by doing a journal about your feelings. It doesn’t have to be the best writing or even good writing at all. Just get it all out there. Imagine that as you write them down, the bad feelings and thoughts are leaving your body and sticking to the paper.
2. Let Go, Stop Holding On
I know it’s not easy. Letting go is actually the most crucial and the most difficult phase of every relationship. There’s just too many memories and forgetting these memories feels like an impossibility. Well, who wouldn’t find it hard to let go? You have invested so much time, money, effort and tears to make the relationship work out only to lose it in just a moment. Right? Of course it’s hard to let go! Who am I kidding? However, you also have to think of yourself honey. You ought to respect and value yourself more than anyone and being clingy indicates that your self value is way below the line. Do not cling to someone who doesn’t see your true value. It’s just not going to work. As in, NOT GOING TO WORK.
3. Move out from your room, Go and socialize!
Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends, go some place else with your family members. go on a trip, go to a coffee/tea shop, or go to a Spa, have your nail polished or be beautiful, go to gym and be engaged in sports. This will give you less time to think about your. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in…the world without your stupid totga…Don’t forget that you once lived without him/her so it won’t definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were… your life isn’t over now that they’re gone.
In addition, exercising, sunlight, and fresh air will help you become healthier which will make your body feel good. Soon enough, your heart will start feeling better too.
4.Make New Memories
Do something you never thought you’d do like skydiving, zip-lining, rock climbing, or anything else. If you create new memories, you will have a better chance at forgetting your ex, and in the process, you’ll discover many more things that you are capable of, things you never thought you could do.
You’re single. This is the best time for you to focus on you, yes! on yourself dear. Now, your money and time is all yours to take. Don’t feel guilty about spending it. Go to a spa and get pampered. Buy a new set of clothes, shoes, and makeup. Give yourself a makeover as the strong, independent woman you are. Enroll in a culinary course and learn something new. Indulge in worthwhile activities like yoga, swimming, biking, and the arts.
As you improve yourself, you’ll build the self-confidence that was blocked by your previous relationship. Being confident in yourself gives you a certain balance. It makes you feel good about yourself, and that’s very attractive.
6.Avoid Contact With Your Ex as Much as Possible
You can change your number (or block his), and delete his number from your contact list. If you memorized his number, you will really have to discipline yourself and do your best not to contact him. Try to memorize other important phone numbers. Keep busy so you won’t even have time to think of contacting him. In time, you’ll be surprised that you don’t remember his phone number anymore.
Unfollow him or block him on all your social media accounts, and delete all your old messages and emails so you don’t spend any time going through them. Make a new email address to make it even more effective. The urge to contact him will wane little by little until you don’t remember him at all.
7.Make Changes in your Lifestyle
Make a list of all the things you want to do with your life. What are the things that you could never do together? Did he hate boating because he got seasick? Go on a cruise. Did he always roll his eyes when you wanted to go dancing? Take a dance class! For short, do the things he hates to do.
Clean your room and throw away all the things that you associate with your ex; like photo albums, gifts he gave you, old rotten flowers he gave you that you’re still keeping as souvenirs, letters and birthday cards. If you have posters or pictures drawn on the wall with him, repaint your walls and redecorate your bedroom.
8.See the Good in Yourself
Nothing is impossible if you are determined to really move on, but you have to help yourself. Make a list of all the bad qualities of your ex, the things you couldn’t stand about him or her. List all the reasons why you shouldn’t get back together.
Then enumerate all of your good qualities, those qualities that make you special and worth a second shot in love. Make a list of your 100 best qualities. Don’t stop until you reach 100! Having these things written down will help you convince yourself that you’ve made the right decision.
This is the ultimate way to get over your ex Even though your past relationship didn’t work, it shouldn’t stop you from loving again. Try not to close your heart to a new possibility of a love that is better, bolder, and greater than the previous one. Smile and be hopeful. There is someone who is right for you, someone who will be thankful to have you, someone who will treasure and respect you more than anyone else.
You will find a new love that will make you grow more mature and inspired in your everyday life. And who knows, the next person could even be the one you decide to spend the rest of your life with.
That’s it folks. That’s my advice. If I was able to get over my ex, I am sure that you will too. Even though it feels like it, it is not the end of the world. There is still someone out there waiting for you who will find you no matter what.
Be thankful and learn from your past and use that to become a better and more lovable person. Realize that there are different kinds of people that we are meant to meet in life. Some of them are just passing by to give us lessons, some will make us stronger, some are meant to show us what real world is like and there are some who will stay with us forever.
Love yourself more and you’ll see that new love is coming along soon enough.